Grief is a natural response to loss whether it's the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or another form of life altering transition. While individual experiences vary, there are common patterns and evidence-based practices that support healing over time.
Definition: Grief is the emotional suffering one feels after losing someone or something important.
Types:
Acute grief: Intense initial reaction (shock, sadness, anger)
Integrated grief: A longer-term adaptation where the loss is incorporated into life
Complicated grief (Prolonged Grief Disorder): Persistent, impairing grief lasting over a year
Common Symptoms:
Emotional: Sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety
Cognitive: Difficulty concentrating, intrusive thoughts
Physical: Fatigue, changes in sleep or appetite
Social: Withdrawal, loss of interest in activities
🔍 Step-by-step Support Plan
1. Acknowledge the Reality of the Loss
Say it aloud or write it down.
Attend memorials or rituals if available and meaningful.
Avoid suppression; suppression often prolongs distress (Gross & John, 2003).
2. Create a Daily Stabilization Routine
Structure provides predictability during emotional upheaval:
Wake/sleep at consistent times
Eat regular meals
Light physical movement (e.g. walking)
Keep hydration and hygiene in check
3. Track and Validate Emotions
Use a mood journal to identify patterns.
Label your emotions without judgment (Lieberman et al., 2007).
Accept paradoxes - it's normal to feel grief and joy in waves.
4. Limit Isolation, Increase Connection
Share thoughts with someone safe (family, peer, therapist).
Join grief support groups (in person or online).
Social connection reduces cortisol levels and aids recovery (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).
5. Engage in Purposeful Activities
Volunteer or help others - altruism can promote perspective and healing.
Creative expression (journaling, art) helps integrate complex emotions.
Avoid numbing behaviors (substance use, overwork).
6. Educate Yourself About the Process
Learn about typical grief responses to normalize your experience.
Recognize that healing is not linear.
7. Seek Professional Help If Needed
Consider therapy if you experience:
Persistent intrusive memories or guilt
Inability to perform daily activities
Suicidal thoughts
Evidence-based options:
Complicated Grief Therapy (CGT) – targets Prolonged Grief Disorder
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – modifies unhelpful thought patterns
EMDR (for trauma-related loss)
Source: Shear et al., 2005; Boelen et al., 2007
đź“Ś Quick Reference Checklist: Daily Self- Care for Grief
Focus Area | Daily Practice Example |
Emotional regulation | Name emotions; write one sentence about each |
Physical health | 10–20 min walk, balanced meals, 7–8 hours sleep |
Connection | Call, text, or meet with someone |
Expression | Journal for 5 min or create something tangible |
Information | Read 1 fact about grief from a credible source |
đź“š Scientific Sources and Support
Shear, M. K., et al. (2005). Treatment of complicated grief. JAMA.
Boelen, P. A., et al. (2007). Cognitive behavioral therapy for complicated grief.
Lieberman, M. D., et al. (2007). Labeling emotions and amygdala activity. Psychological Science.
HoltLunstad, J., et al. (2010). Social relationships and mortality. PLoS Medicine.
Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Emotion regulation strategies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
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