Beginner Cat Guide: Vet-Backed Tips for New Cat Parents

 

Welcoming a cat into your home is a joyful milestone but it also comes with a learning curve. Whether you’ve adopted a kitten or an adult rescue, this guide offers practical, science-backed advice to help you build a safe, nurturing environment from day one.

🕒 1. Set Up a Routine

Cats thrive on predictability. Establishing a consistent daily rhythm helps reduce stress and builds trust.

• Feeding schedule: Offer meals at the same times each day. Adult cats typically eat twice daily; kittens may need 3 - 4 meals.
• Playtime: Schedule short, interactive sessions using wand toys or puzzle feeders to stimulate your cat’s mind and body.
• Quiet time: Cats need rest. Create a cozy, undisturbed space for naps and decompression.

Vet Insight: A 2022 study in the Journal of Feline Medicine found that cats with predictable routines showed lower cortisol levels and fewer behavioral issues.

 

🧼 2. Litter Box Basics

A clean, accessible litter box is essential for your cat’s health and comfort.

• Box type: Choose an open, low-sided box for kittens or senior cats. Covered boxes may trap odors and discourage use.
• Litter choice: Unscented, clumping litter is preferred by most cats. Avoid strong fragrances or pellet textures.
• Placement: Keep the box in a quiet, low-traffic area. Avoid placing it near food or water bowls.
• Cleaning: Scoop daily and change litter weekly. Wash the box with mild soap monthly.

Vet Insight: According to the American Association of Feline Practitioners (AAFP), inappropriate elimination is often linked to litter box aversion-usually due to cleanliness or location.

 

🤝 3. Bonding Tips

Building a strong bond takes time, patience, and respect for your cat’s boundaries.

• Let them come to you: Avoid forcing interaction. Allow your cat to initiate contact.
• Use positive reinforcement: Reward calm behavior with treats, praise, or gentle petting.
• Respect body language: Flattened ears, swishing tails, or dilated pupils signal discomfort.
• Create safe zones: Provide hiding spots, vertical spaces, and quiet retreats.

Vet Insight: Research from Ohio State University’s Indoor Pet Initiative shows that environmental enrichment and autonomy are key to feline emotional health.

 

📚 4. Health and Vet Care

Regular veterinary visits are crucial to maintaining your cat’s health.

• Initial check-up: Schedule a vet visit soon after adoption to assess overall health and discuss vaccinations.
• Vaccinations: Keep your cat up to date on core vaccines like rabies, feline distemper, and respiratory viruses.
• Parasite prevention: Use vet-recommended flea, tick, and worm preventatives year-round.
• Dental care: Regularly check your cat’s teeth and gums; dental disease is common and preventable.
• Spaying/neutering: This helps prevent unwanted litters and can reduce certain health risks and behavioral issues.

Vet Insight: The American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) emphasizes preventive care as key to a long, healthy life for cats.

 

💎 5. Nutrition Essentials

Proper nutrition supports your cat’s growth, energy, and immune system.

• Balanced diet: Choose high-quality commercial cat food formulated for your cat’s life stage (kitten, adult, senior).
• Hydration: Always provide fresh water; some cats prefer running water from fountains.
• Avoid toxic foods: Never feed cats chocolate, onions, garlic, alcohol, caffeine, or grapes.
• Treats: Use sparingly and opt for healthy, vet-approved options.

Vet Insight: Studies show that diet quality directly impacts feline longevity and quality of life.

 

👍 6. Enrichment and Exercise

Mental and physical stimulation prevent boredom and promote well-being.

• Interactive toys: Rotate toys regularly to maintain interest.
• Scratching posts: Provide multiple scratching surfaces to satisfy natural behaviors.
• Climbing structures: Cats love vertical space; consider cat trees or shelves.
• Outdoor access: If safe, supervised outdoor time or secure enclosures can enrich your cat’s environment.

Vet Insight: Enrichment reduces stress-related behaviors and supports cognitive health.

Final Thoughts

Being a cat parent is a rewarding journey. By following these foundational tips, you’ll create a home that supports your cat’s physical and emotional well-being while deepening your bond through trust, routine, and respect.

 

Pet Mom Life Lessons: What Science Says About Caring, Connection, and Everyday Joy

Pet parents often describe their animals as family - not metaphorically, but emotionally, psychologically, and relationally. Modern research supports what pet moms have always known intuitively: caring for an animal shape your wellbeing, strengthens emotional resilience, and deepens your sense of purpose. This article explores the science‑backed lessons our pets teach us daily, and how understanding their needs can transform both their lives and ours.

The Emotional Bond: Why Pet Parenting Matters

The human–animal bond is more than affection. It’s a measurable, biologically meaningful relationship. Studies show that interacting with pets can increase oxytocin, the hormone associated with bonding and stress reduction, in both humans and animals (Beetz et al., 2012). This mutual regulation explains why so many women describe their pets as grounding, comforting, and emotionally intuitive companions.

For pet moms juggling caregiving, work, and home responsibilities, this bond becomes a stabilizing force. Pets offer non‑judgmental presence, predictable routines, and a sense of being needed - all of which support emotional wellbeing.

 

Lesson 1: Pets Need Enrichment - and So Do We

Enrichment is a biological need. Research in animal behavior shows that mental stimulation reduces stress, prevents destructive behaviors, and supports cognitive health across a pet’s lifespan (Overall, 2013).

Key enrichment principles

• Predictability with novelty: Pets thrive when routines are stable, but activities vary.
• Species‑appropriate outlets: Cats need vertical space and hunting play; dogs need scent work and problem‑solving.
• Short, frequent engagement: Five minutes of focused enrichment can be more effective than long, unfocused play.
• DIY options: Cardboard boxes, towel puzzles, and slow feeders offer low‑cost stimulation.
• Emotional enrichment: Calm companionship, gentle touch, and predictable interactions matter as much as toys.

When pet moms integrate enrichment into daily life, they often report feeling more connected, more intentional, and less guilty about “not doing enough.”

 

Lesson 2: Pets Communicate Stress Long Before They “Act Out”

Animals rarely jump straight to obvious signs of distress. Subtle cues appear first, and recognizing them early prevents escalation.

Common early stress signals

• Lip licking or yawning outside of context
• Turning the head away or avoiding eye contact
• Sudden stillness or “freezing”
• Pacing or restlessness
• Reduced appetite or withdrawal

These cues are well‑documented in veterinary behavior literature (Yin, 2009). When pet parents learn to read them, they can intervene early: adjusting the environment, offering space, or reducing triggers.

This skill is especially empowering for women who often carry the emotional load of caregiving. Understanding stress cues reduces guilt, increases confidence, and strengthens the bond.

Lesson 3: Calming Routines Support Emotional Regulation

Just like humans, pets benefit from predictable rhythms. Research shows that consistent routines reduce anxiety and support behavioral stability (American Veterinary Medical Association, 2023).

Elements of a calming routine

• Consistent feeding and walking times
• Low‑stimulus morning and evening rituals
• Gentle sensory input such as soft music or dim lighting
• Short decompression breaks after stimulating events
• Touch that respects consent - letting the pet initiate contact

These routines don’t just calm pets - they calm pet parents. Many women report that creating structure for their animals helps them create structure for themselves.

Lesson 4: Healthy Treat Habits Protect Long‑Term Wellness

Obesity is one of the most common preventable health issues in pets. Studies estimate that over 50% of dogs and cats in the U.S. are overweight (Association for Pet Obesity Prevention, 2022). Treats are often the culprit - not because pet parents don’t care, but because treats become a love language.

Evidence‑aligned treat guidelines

• Treats should make up less than 10% of daily calories
• Use single‑ingredient options when possible
• Break treats into smaller pieces - pets don’t measure size, only frequency
• Use treats strategically for training, enrichment, or bonding
• Monitor weight monthly to catch changes early

Healthy treat habits are an act of love, not restriction.

Lesson 5: Connection Is the Core of Pet Parenting

At the heart of every pet mom’s journey is connection - the quiet, everyday moments that build trust and emotional safety. Research consistently shows that pets look to their caregivers for guidance, reassurance, and co‑regulation (Topál et al., 1998).

This means your presence matters more than perfection. Your routines matter more than expensive toys. Your emotional availability matters more than flawless training.

Pet parenting is not about doing everything right - it’s about showing up with intention, compassion, and curiosity.

Final Thoughts: The Science of Love, Care, and Everyday Joy

Being a pet mom is a form of caregiving that deserves recognition. It requires emotional intelligence, observation skills, and a willingness to grow alongside another living being. When you understand your pet’s needs: enrichment, communication, routine, nutrition, and connection, you create a home where both of you can thrive.

And perhaps the greatest lesson pets teach us is this:
You don’t have to be perfect to be loved deeply. You just must be present.

References

• Beetz, A., Uvnäs‑Moberg, K., Julius, H., & Kotrschal, K. (2012). Psychosocial and psychophysiological effects of human–animal interactions: The possible role of oxytocin. Frontiers in Psychology, 3, 234. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2012.00234 (doi.org in Bing)
• Overall, K. L. (2013). Manual of Clinical Behavioral Medicine for Dogs and Cats. Elsevier.
• Yin, S. (2009). Low Stress Handling, Restraint and Behavior Modification of Dogs & Cats. CattleDog Publishing.
• American Veterinary Medical Association. (2023). Pet behavior and training resources. https://www.avma.org
• Association for Pet Obesity Prevention. (2022). U.S. pet obesity prevalence survey results.https://petobesityprevention.org
• Topál, J., Miklósi, Á., Csányi, V., & Dóka, A. (1998). Attachment behavior in dogs (Canis familiaris): A new application of Ainsworth’s (1969) strange situation test. Journal of Comparative Psychology, 112(3), 219–229. https://doi.org/10.1037/0735-7036.112.3.219 (doi.org in Bing)

 

 

 

 

Gratitude Every Day: A Pet Parent’s Guide to Joy

Gratitude is not just a seasonal ritual reserved for Thanksgiving - it’s a daily practice that can transform the way we live, love, and connect. For pet parents, gratitude takes on a special meaning: it’s about appreciating the wagging tails, the purrs, the companionship, and even the muddy paw prints that remind us we’re never alone.

Why Gratitude Matters Every Day

• Boosts Happiness: Studies show that practicing gratitude increases overall life satisfaction and reduces stress. Pet parents often experience this naturally: just stroking a dog or hearing a cat’s purr releases oxytocin, the “bonding hormone.”
• Strengthens Relationships: Gratitude makes us more empathetic and patient. When we thank our pets (yes, they feel it!) or acknowledge the joy they bring, we deepen our bond.
• Improves Health: Research links gratitude to better sleep, lower blood pressure, and stronger immunity. Combine that with daily walks or playtime, and pet parents get a double wellness boost.
• Shifts Perspective: Gratitude helps us focus on what we have instead of what we lack. A pet’s unconditional love is a daily reminder of abundance.

Gratitude Practices for Pet Parents

• Morning Ritual: Before feeding your pet, pause and say, “I’m grateful for your presence in my life.”
• Gratitude Walks: On walks, notice small joys: sunlight on fur, your dog’s excitement at a squirrel, or the rhythm of paws on pavement.
• Photo Gratitude Journal: Snap one picture a day of your pet doing something ordinary. Later, reflect on how these moments add up to extraordinary joy.
• Thank-You Treats: Offer a treat not just as a reward, but as a symbol of thanks for companionship.

Real Conversation Starters

Gratitude is contagious. Try these with fellow pet parents:

• “What’s one quirky thing your pet does that makes you smile every time?”
• “If your pet could thank you for something today, what would it be?”
• “What’s the funniest mess your pet ever made that you’re secretly grateful for?”

These conversations spark laughter, empathy, and shared appreciation.

Facts That Inspire Gratitude

• Pet owners live longer: Studies show dog owners have a lower risk of heart disease thanks to daily activity.
• Cats reduce stress: Cat purrs vibrate at a frequency that can lower blood pressure and promote healing.
• Pets teach mindfulness: Watching a pet nap or play reminds us to slow down and savor the present.
• Gratitude rewires the brain: Neuroscience confirms that consistent gratitude practice strengthens neural pathways linked to joy.

The Happiness Boost

Gratitude is like a multiplier: when you combine it with the unconditional love of pets, the effect is exponential. Every wag, meow, chirp, or cuddle becomes a reminder that happiness isn’t found in grand gestures -it’s in the everyday moments we choose to notice and appreciate.

Final Thought

Gratitude is not about ignoring life’s challenges, it’s about choosing to see the paw prints on the floor as evidence of love, not mess. For pet parents, every day is Thanksgiving when we pause to appreciate the furry (or feathered, or scaly) companions who make our lives richer.

 

 

The Modern Cat Parent: Emotionally Intelligent Cat Care Tips for Raising Felines Like Family

 

In recent years, the idea of “pet parents” has become more than just a term of endearment—it reflects a shift in how we view and care for our animals. For cat lovers, this evolution is particularly profound. No longer relegated to the role of aloof companion, today’s cats are embraced as full-fledged family members. Just like children, they require emotional nurturing, environmental structure, and daily investment. This article explores a fresh, practical perspective on cat care—one that integrates emotional development, household harmony, and mutual well-being.

1. Beyond the Basics: Structure and Emotional Stability

Caring for a cat extends well beyond feeding, grooming, and the occasional vet visit. While these are essential, what many cat owners overlook is the emotional scaffolding cats need to feel safe and thrive. Much like children, cats respond to consistency, gentle boundaries, and routine. Creating predictable feeding times, designated play sessions, and quiet rest periods provides a secure environment that calms anxiety and curbs unwanted behaviors.

Cats are highly sensitive to their environments. A sudden change in routine, loud noise, or emotional tension in the household can lead to behavioral regressions—similar to how a toddler might act out under stress. Recognizing these signs as communication, not misbehavior, is key. Reframe your role from “owner” to “emotional co-regulator.” Just like a mindful parent responds to a child’s tantrum with understanding and structure, a cat parent should respond to aggression or withdrawal with curiosity and compassion.

2. Active Engagement: Cognitive and Emotional Stimulation

Just as children need intellectual engagement, cats thrive when their minds are stimulated. Rotating toys, introducing puzzle feeders, or setting up simple obstacle courses allows your cat to problem-solve, explore, and gain confidence. Cats that are mentally engaged are less likely to engage in destructive habits, and more likely to develop stronger bonds with their humans.

Social enrichment is equally critical. Many cat parents underestimate the value of consistent, direct interaction. Daily, focused play is not just for burning energy—it mimics hunting behavior, deepens trust, and releases feel-good endorphins. Using eye contact, gentle verbal tones, and physical affection builds a sense of connection, similar to how a child learns they are seen and loved.

3. Health Advocacy: Preventative and Personalized Care

Caring for a cat “like a child” includes being proactive about their health. Annual vet visits should be the minimum, but true wellness means understanding the nuances of your cat’s diet, hydration, dental health, and even mental well-being. Tailor their diet to age, breed, and temperament. Cats are notorious for hiding pain—regular home check-ins for lumps, oral health, weight changes, and mood shifts can catch problems before they escalate.

Emotional health is just as vital. Cats are not solitary hermits by nature. They can experience grief, depression, and social withdrawal. Environmental stressors—such as too little vertical space, limited stimulation, or household conflict—can result in emotional suppression. Providing safe hiding spots, window perches, and interactive enrichment can help your cat self-regulate when needed.

4. The Emotional Mirror: How Cats Heal Us

Perhaps one of the most profound elements of cat care is the emotional exchange. Studies show that interacting with cats can lower blood pressure, reduce cortisol levels, and increase oxytocin—the hormone tied to bonding and trust. But beyond biochemistry, cats invite us into a slower, more mindful way of being. Their silence teaches presence. Their independence models boundaries. Their trust—hard-won and freely given—becomes a mirror for how we show up in relationships.

Many cat parents find that tending to a cat’s emotional needs improves their own mental health. Showing up consistently for a pet creates routine, empathy, and purpose. For individuals living alone or working from home, the companionship of a cat offers non-verbal support, mirroring their moods and offering presence without demand.

5. Rethinking Parenthood: Cats as Family, Not Accessories

To raise a cat like a child is not to infantilize it—but to honor its complexity. Like kids, cats need emotional attunement, healthy boundaries, enrichment, and safe attachment. They aren’t accessories for our entertainment—they are dynamic beings with unique personalities and needs.

Becoming a cat parent in this modern sense means expanding your definition of care. It’s about cultivating an intentional relationship that respects their instincts while nurturing their emotional world. When this bond is nurtured thoughtfully, both cat and caretaker flourish—emotionally, mentally, and energetically.

Finally ---

Being a cat parent isn’t about spoiling or humanizing your cat. It’s about recognizing the emotional and behavioral intelligence they already possess—and showing up with the structure, sensitivity, and presence they deserve. When we elevate cat care beyond the basics, we discover not only a happier pet—but a more grounded, emotionally rich life for ourselves.

 

The Rise of "Pet Parenting" Among Young Couples: A Shift from Children to Companions

  

In recent years, a notable societal shift has emerged in industrialized nations: more young couples are choosing to raise pets rather than children. This trend, often labeled “pet parenting,” is not merely anecdotal but supported by measurable data and influenced by a confluence of economic, social, and personal factors. This article presents an exploratory but factual overview of this phenomenon, providing evidence, context, and considerations for understanding its long-term implications.

 

Statistical Overview

 

 U.S. Pet Ownership: According to the American Pet Products Association (APPA), 70% of U.S. households owned a pet in 2023, up from 56% in 1988. Millennials represent the largest segment of pet owners at 33%.

 Birth Rates: The U.S. birth rate dropped to 1.62 births per woman in 2023, below the replacement level of 2.1. This decline has been consistent since 2007.

 Delayed Parenthood: CDC data shows that the average age of first-time mothers in the U.S. rose from 24.9 in 2000 to 30.1 in 2022.

 Spending Patterns: In 2023, Americans spent approximately $147 billion on pets, with significant expenditures in pet health insurance, gourmet food, and accessories—mirroring expenses associated with raising children.

 

 

Key Factors Behind the Trend

1. Economic Considerations: The cost of raising a child to adulthood in the U.S. is estimated at $310,000 (Brookings Institution, 2022). Conversely, the lifetime cost of owning a dog or cat is significantly lower—estimated at \$15,000–\$45,000 depending on the breed and level of care. For many couples facing economic instability, high housing costs, or student loan debt, pets are a more feasible alternative.

2. Lifestyle Preferences: Young adults increasingly prioritize mobility, career advancement, and travel—lifestyles that are more compatible with pet ownership than traditional child-rearing. Pets offer companionship without requiring long-term commitments such as school choices, college funds, or 24/7 childcare.

3. Emotional Fulfillment: Psychologists note that pets fulfill many emotional roles similar to children. They provide routine, affection, and responsibility. For childless couples, pets offer a socially acceptable outlet for nurturing instincts and family identity.

4. Cultural Shifts: Attitudes toward family structures are evolving. Non-traditional family models, including pet families, are more widely accepted. Social media has further amplified this trend, creating communities centered around pet lifestyles and parenting-like behavior.

 

 

Positive Aspects of Pet Parenting

 Mental Health Benefits: Studies show that pet ownership can reduce anxiety, increase serotonin and dopamine levels, and offer emotional regulation during stressful periods.

 Relationship Strengthening: Couples often report greater bonding and cooperation through joint care of pets, mirroring co-parenting dynamics.

 Sustainable Living: Fewer children per household can reduce environmental impact, particularly in urban areas where resources are limited.

 

 

Negative and Long-Term Considerations

 Demographic Shifts: Declining birth rates pose challenges for future workforce sustainability, economic growth, and support systems for aging populations.

 Emotional Displacement: While pets can provide emotional support, they are not substitutes for the social, generational, and developmental dynamics that children bring.

 Health and Legal Gaps: Pet insurance and veterinary care are not regulated to the same degree as child health systems. Emergency care and long-term planning are still inconsistent.

 

 

What This Means and What to Do 

This shift should be understood not as a trend to be judged, but as an evolving response to modern pressures and priorities. Policymakers and health professionals must account for this change when designing family support systems, mental health interventions, and long-term population planning. Couples considering pet parenting in lieu of having children should assess their motivations clearly, explore long-term implications, and seek balance—ensuring that their decision reflects values, lifestyle compatibility, and emotional readiness.

For society at large, the rise in pet parenting invites broader dialogue on what constitutes family, how we define caregiving, and what supports are necessary to allow individuals to thrive—regardless of whether they choose children, pets, both, or neither.

 

Coping With Pet Loss Grief: A Practical, No-Nonsense Survival Guide for the Heartbroken Human

Disclaimer: This article addresses the deeply serious and personal experience of pet loss with a touch of humor—not to diminish the grief, but to offer comfort and connection through a human lens. The intent is to lighten, not belittle, and to provide understanding without clinical detachment.

Let’s just say it straight: losing a pet is brutal. It’s not “just a cat,” “just a dog,” or “just a parrot with a Napoleon complex.” It’s a family member, a sleep partner, an emotional support animal disguised as a furry (or feathered) goofball who understood your moods better than most humans. When that presence is suddenly gone, the silence can scream. And while people might offer you platitudes like “time heals all wounds,” what you really need is a practical playbook for surviving this very real, very personal grief.

 

What Pet Loss Grief Actually Is (Spoiler: It's Not Made-Up)

Pet loss grief is a legitimate form of bereavement recognized by mental health professionals. Research shows that the human-animal bond activates the same neural pathways as human-to-human attachment. That means your brain and body go through the same rollercoaster of grief hormones, even if your coworker side-eyes your “bereavement day” request. Symptoms can include sadness, guilt, loss of appetite, sleep disruption, brain fog, and random sobbing during dog food commercials. You're not overreacting; you're reacting exactly as expected.

 

 What Helps (and What Really Doesn’t)

Let’s start with what not to do. Don’t gaslight yourself with “It was just a pet” internal monologues. And definitely don’t try to shortcut the process by immediately replacing your pet as if it’s a goldfish you flushed when you were eight. Respect the grief. It’s earned.

 

What helps? First, structure. Grief hates a schedule, so you give it one. Wake up, eat something that isn't half a pizza or a box of cereal, walk (even without the leash), and hydrate like your tear ducts depend on it. Replace pet routines slowly—don’t erase them. Instead of feeding your pet, write in a grief journal at that time. If you used to walk them, take the walk. Your body still needs the movement, and your mind needs the familiarity.

 

Talk. Not necessarily to people who don’t get it (and you’ll find out fast who those are). Talk to others who’ve lost pets—online groups, therapists, or friends who keep a framed photo of their bearded dragon on their desk. There are even certified pet loss counselors, and yes, that’s a real, helpful thing.

 

Rituals That Ground You (Not Woo-Woo, Just Human)

Don’t underestimate the power of ritual. Humans do better when there’s something tangible to process intangible feelings. Write your pet a letter. Create a memory box with their collar, a favorite toy, or those four thousand identical photos of them sleeping. Light a candle, plant a tree, or get a tattoo if that’s your thing. You don’t need a priest and a choir—just something that honors the bond.

One underrated but powerfully grounding ritual: telling their story. Write it down. Share it. Whether your cat once chased a raccoon out of your bathroom, or your Labrador used to dance every time he heard Fleetwood Mac, memorializing their personality helps affirm that they mattered. Because they did.

 

When Grief Gets Weird (and What to Do About It)

 Pet grief can be strange. You might hear their footsteps, see them in the corner of your eye, or instinctively go to fill their bowl. This isn’t madness—it’s muscle memory. You might also feel deep guilt—over the vet visit, over “the look” they gave you, over wondering if you waited too long or acted too soon. These thoughts can become loops.

Here’s the truth: no perfect moment exists when ending a pet’s suffering. You chose love in its hardest form. Acknowledge your guilt, but don’t indulge it. Discuss it, journal it, or talk it out with someone trained to help. You deserve compassion, too.

 

The Next Pet Question (aka The “Too Soon?” Dilemma)

Eventually, the idea of adopting again might come up. There’s no universal “right time.” It’s not cheating, and it’s not replacing. It’s reinvesting your love when you're ready—not before. If you're still crying during cat food commercials, maybe hold off. But if you find yourself instinctively checking shelter websites or talking to a squirrel like it might answer back, you might be open to the idea. Just be honest with yourself. Some people wait months. Others wait years. Some decide they can’t do it again, and that’s okay, too.

 

The Final Word (Or Bark. Or Meow.)

Grieving a pet is gritty, painful, and deeply human. It doesn’t make you weak; it makes you someone who loved deeply and wholeheartedly. If there’s humor to be found, let it in. Like the memory of your dog snoring so loud he scared himself awake, or the way your cat used to judge your fashion choices from the laundry basket. Grief and joy are siblings, not enemies. One doesn’t cancel out the other—they coexist.

And remember: you’re not alone. You’re part of a very quiet, deeply bonded club of people who’ve had their hearts paw-printed forever. Wear that heartbreak like a badge. It means you were lucky enough to love something that didn’t speak your language but understood your soul.