Smart, Safe, and Still Fun: A Young Woman’s Guide to Dating Safely

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Empowerment through awareness, not fear.

Dating should be exciting, not anxiety-inducing. Whether you're meeting someone through an app, mutual friends, or at a local event, safety is non-negotiable. Here’s a no-fluff, fact-backed guide to help you enjoy dating while staying safe and self-assured.

✅ Do’s: Smart Moves That Keep You Safe

  • Meet in public first: Choose well-lit, busy locations like coffee shops or parks for early dates (RAINN, n.d.).
  • Tell someone your plans: Share your date’s name, location, and expected return time with a trusted contact.
  • Use your own transportation: Drive yourself or use a rideshare app. Avoid getting picked up until trust is built.
  • Keep your phone charged: A dead phone is a safety risk. Bring a portable charger if needed.
  • Trust your gut: If something feels off - even slightly - leave. You don’t owe anyone more than “I need to go.”

❌ Don’ts: Common Pitfalls to Avoid

  • Don’t overshare too soon: Avoid giving out your full name, address, or workplace early on (Tech Safety, n.d.).
  • Don’t drink excessively: Alcohol impairs judgment. If you drink, keep it minimal and never leave your drink unattended.
  • Don’t rely on dating apps’ safety features alone: Use Google Voice or a texting app until trust is built.
  • Don’t ignore red flags: Disrespect, pushiness, or inconsistent stories are signs to walk away.
  • Don’t go somewhere isolated: Even if the vibe is great, avoid secluded spots until you’ve built trust.

🚨 Precautions That Actually Work

  • Background check basics: A quick online search can reveal social media presence or concerning info (BuzzFeed, 2021).
  • Use safety apps: Apps like Noonlight or Circle of 6 allow you to discreetly alert contacts if you feel unsafe.
  • Avoid frequent spots: Don’t suggest places you regularly visit for early dates - it protects your privacy.
  • Limit location sharing: Turn off real-time location features on dating apps unless absolutely necessary.
  • Stay sober and alert: Especially on first dates, clarity is your best defense.

👀 What to Watch For

  • Love bombing: Excessive flattery or fast declarations of love can be manipulation tactics.
  • Inconsistent behavior: If their stories change or they dodge basic questions, proceed with caution.
  • Boundary testing: Anyone who pushes your limits: physical, emotional, or logistical, is not safe.
  • Isolation attempts: If they discourage you from talking to friends or family, that’s a major red flag.
  • Tech control: Requests for passwords, constant check-ins, or tracking behavior are signs of digital abuse.

💬 Final Thought

Dating safely doesn’t mean dating fearfully. It means dating wisely. You deserve respect, clarity, and joy, not confusion or compromise. By following these tips, you’re not just protecting yourself, you’re setting a standard for how you expect to be treated.

References 

  • Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. (n.d.). Tips for safer dating online and in person. https://rainn.org/strategies-to-reduce-risk-increase-safety/tips-for-safer-dating-online-and-in-person
  • Tech Safety. (n.d.). Safer dating toolkit. National Network to End Domestic Violence. https://www.techsafety.org/safer-dating-toolkit
  • Rackham, C. (2021, October 26). Women share dating safety tips they swear by. BuzzFeed. https://www.buzzfeed.com/caseyrackham/women-share-dating-safety-tips

 

 

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